G: Grandparents

"If I'd known grandchildren were so much fun, I'd have had them first."-Anon.

I read this somewhere recently and I thought to myself, no wonder grand parenting is so much fun. It is just the fun part of parenting without the need to do all the hard stuff. Also, you can dish out advice at your kids and argue about the same stuff that they thought was wrong when you were a kid and now suddenly it doesn't apply to their grandchild anymore!

But even so, there is something to be said about the new avatar that the grandparent dons in the presence of the grandchild. I agree I'm a relatively new mother but in these couple of years, I've seen both my parents and my in-laws turn into mush in the presence of Pickles. I've seen my strict disciplinarian dad (whose mere raised voice would make us burst into tears) make weird funny sounds for his giggling grandson. I stood there with my mouth open for a full five minutes when I heard him sing to Pickles. My mom on the other hand is changing her ways in the kitchen and learning new recipes just to watch her grandson relish the dishes she's cooked and be thanked by a 'thakku mamama' (thank you, grandma). Ma's learnt how to use whatsapp just to see pictures of Pickles and she insists I must send her one picture every day! I've watched my calm and serious Father-in-law do a little dance to put his grandson to bed. I've heard him roar in laughter over Pickles' silly antics. I find my mother-in-law doing research on the internet to help solve a problem that he might be having.

I guess it must be true. There is a proverb in hindi 'Asal se sooth jyada pyara hota hai', which literally translates to 'the interest is far dearer than the principal amount'. What it really means is that people love their grandchildren way more than they love their children themselves. I for one, am beginning to see the truth in that.

F: Festivities and following traditions

My parents was neither very religious nor did we strictly follow traditions around festivals. But they made sure we knew why each festival was celebrated and we had some small things that we'd do after a small pooja at home. As kids, we'd look forward to Diwali, Ganesh Chathurthi, Sankranthi and some other hindu festivals, for different reasons. It was the lights and fire crackers and oil-baths at Diwali, new clothes at some of the festivals, the 'yellu-bella' at Sankranthi and so on. And of course, the food associated with each one of them. Although mom never had the time or inclination to cook all the 'necessary' goodies, she either bought them or we'd eat them at a relative's place. Each festival brings back some very fond memories. 

When I moved to Singapore, although I missed being part of the celebrations at home, I never really missed any of the practices. And hence, I never made an effort to either follow them or to do anything remotely festive. Most of the times, I wouldn't even know when a festival came by unless ma explicitly mentioned it to me. After R came into the picture, he shared a similar attitude and things continued in pretty much the same way. Although we would attend Diwali parties and have fun, we never really did anything special for any of the festivals.

A few years later, Pickles came into the picture and suddenly things changed. Suddenly, I was my mom! I wanted to do things just so he would know what these little festivities mean. I wanted him to have fond memories just like I do, of every single festival. Whether he chooses to follow those little traditions or not, is a choice I would leave to him. But I want to make sure he has that choice. 

Why I mention this today is because tomorrow is Ugadi and I am here, looking forward to celebrating it with family. And I hope Pickles has fun too!

E: Escapades of the Jackdaws

I was toying with the idea of using E to write an excuse of a post. It has been a long and tiring day and the motivation to go on is low. And then I figured it is a good time to get started again on the runaway series.

Over the next few days, the girls got back most of their freedom. Maybe it was the inclusion of Andy into the picture, but Aunty V seemed to be more forgiving and friendly even. She let them have some fun on their own, continuing to happily cook their meals for them. The girls spent the next few days just whiling away their time in Aunty V's house. Vee and Mee were allowed to go out and meet some of their old friends. All the time, they were wondering what would happen of them in  the next few days to come. But that did not stop them from having the time of their lives. Eventually they ran out of almost all their money and were wondering what to do next. After much deliberation, it was decided that Soo and Shee had to go back home now. But they didn't have money to buy their fare and they didn't think asking Aunty V or the winker was an option. Their parents would be worried silly if they did not go home in time and add more complications to the already complex situation.

Shee had an uncle and aunt who lived in Bangalore. Lets call them Kaka and Kaki. They had two children who lived with them. Shee made a call to her dad telling him that she was in need of some money and her dad immediately asked her to go and see Kaka. And so the girls decided to go pay them a visit.

Now Kaka was this huge man who always thought for a while before he said anything and probably thought a lot more before he did anything and especially when that something was for someone else. Kaki was way shrewder and wasn't too fond of Shee. Kaka and Kaki however, doted on Mee. In their eyes, Mee was a star pupil who would rub off her habits and maybe her distinction on their children. The girls met Kaka at his office and he drove them to his home to a hot meal cooked by Kaki. After lunch, came the uncomfortable questions about what they were all doing in Bangalore and the like. The girls thought it was best to fib their way out of this one and they did just that. At the end of the day, they walked out of there with slightly heavier pockets that would take Shee and Soo back home.
The girls stayed up all night making promises to stay in touch and help each other in whatever way they could.

The following night, with heavy hearts Shee and Soo took the train back home. Vee and Mee went to see them off at the railway station. After saying tearful goodbyes, Vee and Mee walked back to the auto stand wondering what they ought to do next. The relatives would be here soon and they had a lot of explaining to do.

D: Dumptrucks and diggers

It all began with a bunch of flashcards. We had bought them with the intention to teach a fourteen month old Pickles more words. In one of the sets was a section on transport and vehicles. Pickles immediately took a liking to this set and in particular to one of a train and another of a motorcycle. I think they have been his most favourite possessions for a long time. I doubt any such cards have been so widely used and loved. But I digress. This post is not about those cards. It's about another one in the same set.

I came home from work one day to an exasperated looking G, who said Pickles was looking for something called a bugga-bugga and she couldn't for the life of her, figure out what it was. When I asked Pickles about it, he used his limited vocabulary to tell me the same thing,

"Bugga-bugga, amma?"

And he was looking everywhere for it. And help him, I did. I started asking him if it was this or that and he still kept looking. Finally, we all gave up and tried to get him distracted with other things and that was that. Later that night when we went to bed, he saw this flash card of a dump truck on the side of our bed and his face lit up. Immediately, he picked it up and said "bugga-bugga". And then it flashed! I had been telling him about animal sounds and continued with vehicle sounds and I may have said something that sounded like that.  And there began our tryst with 'bugga-bugga', which soon became "dumper tuck"(much to my dismay!). And of course along with it was "gggggrrrrrr", which eventually was "digger".

There came many many books from the library with the truck and digger labels. I was actually very surprised to find so many and it was oddly comforting to know that this is fascinating for many kids. We probably have read all of the books on diggers and dump trucks. We have spent many a mealtime and bus journeys with several of them. Pickles knows the names of most of the existing trucks (tipper truck, backhoe loader, articulated lorry, forklift and whatnot!). It is another matter that I know all about them now too, attributed to many many readings over and over again. Of course, along with it came the toys, some that R bought for his truck-crazed son and some of course which were gifts from friends. And now Pickles has a collection of trucks and diggers that'll put a builder to shame.

And now, ever since we've been in India, Pickles has been teaching his mamama (grandma) and everyone around, all about them and I wont be surprised if they'll have caught the bug before he's done.

C:Chaos

If I had to use one word to describe the last couple of days with a toddler in a sea of relatives and of course well-meaning strangers(!), it would be this!

Picture this. I have only just landed at the airport and am queueing for immigration with a very unsettled toddler, who just happened to tear my filled-up immigration form into two. And there is not one but three strangers who are so nice to about my toddler's eye (Pickles has a stye) and giving me random tips and suggestions about how to deal with it but not nice enough to offer me their place in the queue and yet they still expect me to graciously accept their not-so-valuable advice with a smile. I thought they ought to be thanking me for not breaking their noses in the state that I was in.

Also, I don't know what I was thinking, taking a toddler to a family function filled with relatives who have never seen him before. Here is a sample of our experience.

Pickles and I walk into the crowded function room, complete with loud music and a healthy dose of staring strangers. As I walk in, I start to recognise a few familiar faces. I nod at a few, smile at some and completely avoid some others.

Aunty 1: Oh Maya! When did you come?
Me: Yesterday!
Aunty 1: What happened to his eyes? (No preamble whatsoever)
Me: Oh, that's just a stye.
Aunty 1: You should just put some saliva on it!
Me: Huh! sure, thanks. I'll see you in a while.

Moving on..

Aunty 2(while pinching Pickles' cheeks): Hello Maya, he's so cute!
Me: Thanks!
Aunty 2: Just put his own spit on it in the morning and it (the stye) will be gone before you know it.
Me:  Oh, I took him to the doctor. He's on antibiotics.
Aunty 2: You don't really need all that, you know! Just try the spit.
Me: Uh Huh!

Uncle 1(while hugging Pickles): Hello hello!
Me (happy to be rescued from the previous aunt): Hello Uncle, how are you?
Uncle 1(shaking my hand): Oh good good! You know we are planning a trip to Singapore!
Me: Oh great! You should come stay with us.
Uncle 1(still shaking my hand): We'll let you know.
Me: errrr, yeah!
By now, Pickles is wailing away! He wants out. He keeps saying "out" and "bugga bugga" which is Pickles-speak for 'lets go out and watch some trucks'.

Although I did meet(or see, rather) some of the people I really went there for, I didn't really accomplish much other than the fact that I had ticked some boxes in family politics for being there. Don't get me wrong, I have a great family! But my extended family really has some interesting characters to say the least. But this one definitely takes the cake.

This aunt who comes up to me and offers absolutely no preamble and no niceties. Considering she is part of the far far extension of the family, I don't know her much. She offers no acknowledgement of Pickles (thankfully) and pays no heed to the fact that he's pulling my hair out and wailing away.

Weird aunty: You live in Singapore, no?
Me: Uh, yes.
Weird aunty: If I gave you this guy's name in Singapore, would you be able to check out that guy?
Me: Huh! what?
Weird aunty: No, this guy we're interested in for my daughter, could you find out his details if I gave you his name and telephone number?
Me (thinking it's not like I'm the CIA or something!): Errr..I'm not so sure.
Weird aunty: Ok,  I'll send you his number.
Me(with half my hair in Pickles hands): ok

And then she's gone. While I'm happy I got rid of her, I'm not sure what I got myself into.

Note to self: NEVER again!

B:Boys

I grew up in a close-knit family of 4 sisters and 3 other girls cousins and needless to say, we had a ball growing up together. So, I’d always dreamt of having a daughter and when I was pregnant, I was pretty sure it was a little girl in the bump. So, during the 5^th month scan, when the technician asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby, I nodded vigorously. And when she told me it was a boy, I remember vaguely asking if she was sure. She gave me a weird look and pointed to something on the screen and said yes, she was absolutely sure. I walked out of there half in disbelief and half in shock. You see, in my head, I was pretty sure I was going to have a girl.

I came back home and told mom in tears. And she said something very wise. She said, it’s very easy to bring up a girl (she’d brought up 4!) but we need tough mothers to raise sons who’ll grow up to be good men and that there is a dire need for good men in this world. And then I told mom and myself that I’d do my best to be that mother. Since then, my journey hasn’t been easy.

I’ve always wanted my son to be a good and kind-hearted person more than anything else. I want him to respect the other person irrespective of the person’s sex. As of now it doesn’t really matter as in his books, everyone is categorized into gooboy(good boy) or nauttyboy (naughty boy). I’ve tried to buy gender-neutral toys for him and told him it’s ok to play with dolls as much as with planes. But I’ve begun to believe the hard wiring is something I can’t change, no matter what I do. Pickles has taken a love to trucks and anything construction related and right now, my life is full of backhoe loaders and tipper trucks. He has been giving anyone and everyone who’ll listen, a lesson on the different kinds of trucks and excavators. And when he uses all those words to hilarious effects, its amazingly fun.

I can’t believe I was so silly to think that sons and daughters would be different.  At this point, I can tell you that although they are different, they are the same in the things that matter. And yet, I wont deny that when I get dressed up and little Pickles squeals “pitty pitty amma” (Pretty pretty mom),it makes my heart do somersaults in a way like nothing else could. 

A: And here we go again!

Yesss, it is that time of the year again when some of us go clapping our hands in glee over taking up yet another blogging challenge. Foolish  because of all the constraints and yet, I have begun to enjoy these blogathons. I’ve mentioned it time and again about why like doing them. When I looked at my blog, I realised the last post was in November when I did the NoBloPoMo. And I thought it's another reason why I should continue to do these (to keep my blog from dying of neglect).

A lot has happened since I last posted. Some major events included Pickles turning two, new responsibilities at work and our big move to a new home, not really in that order. Also, Pickles and I are all set to go to India. In fact, we will be spending most of this April in India. So, you might see me posting a lot of our travel stories. It will be a good way to chronicle Pickles’ trip to India. It’s not his first but I think this will be the one when he is more aware of what is happening around him and will be able to enjoy things more than he did on his first trip when he was 10 months old

So, I have been telling Pickles all about our trip, about what we’ll do and who we’ll see. He’s been very excited to go to ‘Inya’ to mamama’s (grandma’s) house where he will only ‘pay-pay’ (play) and won’t go to ‘kool’ (school ) and amma (mom) wont go to ‘oppich’ (office) either. He’s excited about seeing all his cousins and pachies (aunts) and of course his grandparents. It’s our first trip out by ourselves and hopefully the beginning of many more travel dventures for us. I don’t know what to expect and I’m very excited and slightly nervous too but I’m pretty sure we’ll be alright.

This morning, I woke Pickles up at 4am to catch the flight at 7. I wanted him to experience the journey instead of passively being carried asleep. He woke up all excited and chattered away on the taxi ride to the airport. We had a tiny breakfast of one idli and we were ready to board. He was happy to be on the flight too and exploring all the seats and the reading material. He had a few biscuits and some water during take-off and then promptly fell asleep. My cabin bag is full of stuff to keep him busy on the flight (books, toys, crayons, stickers, snacks and everything else you can possibly think of). Now that he is asleep, I realsied I didn’t bother getting any reading material for myself at all! I wasn’t hoping to get any time for myself! But I did and it was great, doing nothing by myself for a while. So, it has been a great start to our vacation and hopefully, the rest of the trip is just as good!

P.S.: As I was tying this out on the flight, Pickles woke up but we had a fun time still and was a good reunion with family!