Sunday, June 26, 2016

Inherited passion

Yesterday, Pickles and I went into a bookstore. I love spending time at bookstores. I could spend hours browsing and picking (and spending a fortune) and just being around books. It is however a pastime of the past now with Pickles and a full-time job. But yesterday, I had to pick up a couple of gifts for some upcoming birthday parties. And I generally like to buy books for kids rather than toys and I had to do it rather urgently. When Pickles and I set out from home, I'd thought it would be a quick entry and exit from the store.

So, Pickles is fond of books. We've been doing a lot of reading for him ever since he was born. He really shares my enthusiasm for them, of course he can't read just yet. And the library is one of his happy places. It's very hard to curb his enthusiasm on our weekly visits to the library. It's one of those things that he really looks forward to. I must mention at this point that I think the National Library is one of the best things about Singapore. And it is great that Pickles started out on his "reading" ventures here. He loves to run around and browse and pick books to read. Although most library staff are amused to see this little excited toddler happily browsing, some of them ask us to keep it down.  And although I didn't have to worry about keeping the silence, I still was nervous about the visit. And so, I set my very jittery feet into the bookstore with an excited toddler by my side. As we went in, I explained to him that this was a bookstore and not a library and he could not just pick up books to take home. I also told him that we were there to buy a present for his friend and he nodded like he understood and in a very adult tone said "OK".

And when we walked out, I was wondering why I worried at all. We stayed in the store for a good one and a half hour! And he was just as adult-like as I was. We walked into the different sections together and as I would look, he would browse too and would suggest "this one". I would then tell him why that particular book was not ok, and we would move on. He kept chattering on all the while about the different things in the books that he found interesting. And I managed to even browse for something for myself after I had picked up what I needed. The whole experience was such a joyful one, I almost had happy tears when I saw him sitting happily on the floor of the store, browsing for a while and putting the books back in place. I could see that he was as happy as I, when we were there. I had always hoped that he would enjoy books as much as I do but I hadn't expected that it would be this early.

I for one am very happy that he shares my love of books. I can't wait for the day when we can read our favourite books together and talk about them. Going by how fast things are moving, that day doesn't seem far at all.

Saturday, June 18, 2016


Relationships are complicated. The ones with family, with friends, with the spouse and everyone else. I've always thought of myself as a perceptive and sensitive person. I've never hurt anybody's feelings intentionally. And if something could be resolved without a fight, I would take that way. Which is why I've always hated confrontations. I've always made it my business to make sure nobody got hurt, even if I've suffered in the process.

But now, I think I'm changing. I find myself being less tolerant to things and people that give me stress. Maybe it is because I'm growing older or maybe because I have enough baggage of my own without adding extra from other people. So, I try and avoid people who are cryptic and can't be straight about how they feel. If you want to continually keep me guessing about what went wrong, I will definitely try but after some effort, I just might give up. I neither have the time nor the inclination to keep prodding at something that is not giving me anything but grief. It's probably best for me to let go.

I think it's about time I'm kinder to myself. I have come to realize that I ought to think about myself first. No one else will.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Letting go

Milestones. They are those weird events that you wait for and yet when they actually happen, leave you with an ache in your heart. They sneak up on you when you least expect them to and before you know it, you are wishing to go back to old times. It is probably the fact that so many events seem to be happening so quickly in succession, but it suddenly seems so drastic to me.

It all started with the weaning. It was a huge milestone for me that passed with not as much difficulty as I had expected, considering that Pickles could be reasoned with, at most times.

And then recently, we converted his crib into a toddler bed, so he could slip in and out with ease without us having to worry that he will jump out of it. Pickles was of course very excited with this development and loved his new bed. It is indeed another matter that he hasn't really slept in it for longer than a couple of hours each night.

And the biggest change is his haircut! We shaved his head as per the traditional ceremony (more on that in another post) and his really cute curls are gone. And suddenly my little baby has turned into this cute little boy with big earnest eyes. I can hardly recognise him until he shyly gives me his special dimpled smile and hugs me with his eyes closed.

And I silently mourn this rite of passage that Pickles has made, from a cute baby to a naughty toddler. Just only until he puts his arms around my neck and says "I douve you, amma." Maybe toddlerhood isn't that bad after all.

Saturday, June 4, 2016


There are people and then there are some other people.

The kind who can turn a really bad situation around with just a few words.

The kind who’ll always tell you to look at the bright side no matter what. And who practice what they preach. You’ll never catch them in a bad mood and if you ever do, something’s gone terribly wrong!

The kind who you look forward to speaking to, and use any excuse to do it.

The kind who’ll make you feel good about yourself, every single time.

The kind who make you believe that the world is indeed a beautiful place, albeit because of them.

And I’m so glad to have a few such people in my life!