G: Grandparents

"If I'd known grandchildren were so much fun, I'd have had them first."-Anon.

I read this somewhere recently and I thought to myself, no wonder grand parenting is so much fun. It is just the fun part of parenting without the need to do all the hard stuff. Also, you can dish out advice at your kids and argue about the same stuff that they thought was wrong when you were a kid and now suddenly it doesn't apply to their grandchild anymore!

But even so, there is something to be said about the new avatar that the grandparent dons in the presence of the grandchild. I agree I'm a relatively new mother but in these couple of years, I've seen both my parents and my in-laws turn into mush in the presence of Pickles. I've seen my strict disciplinarian dad (whose mere raised voice would make us burst into tears) make weird funny sounds for his giggling grandson. I stood there with my mouth open for a full five minutes when I heard him sing to Pickles. My mom on the other hand is changing her ways in the kitchen and learning new recipes just to watch her grandson relish the dishes she's cooked and be thanked by a 'thakku mamama' (thank you, grandma). Ma's learnt how to use whatsapp just to see pictures of Pickles and she insists I must send her one picture every day! I've watched my calm and serious Father-in-law do a little dance to put his grandson to bed. I've heard him roar in laughter over Pickles' silly antics. I find my mother-in-law doing research on the internet to help solve a problem that he might be having.

I guess it must be true. There is a proverb in hindi 'Asal se sooth jyada pyara hota hai', which literally translates to 'the interest is far dearer than the principal amount'. What it really means is that people love their grandchildren way more than they love their children themselves. I for one, am beginning to see the truth in that.

P is for Paternal instincts

Becoming a mom was a big change for me but I guess mother nature had already prepped me for it. The instincts were there and stepping into motherhood was relatively easy and I think I was a mom the moment Pickles was born. Not that I had  a choice. I had this baby and he had me and we slowly figured things out.

I can't imagine it must have been the same for R, well not biologically at least. I have watched him slowly step into fatherhood with gingerly toes. I have seen him undergo the different stages, confusion, denial, acceptance and the slow bonding with his newborn son. It was easier for me to handle him as soon as Pickles was handed to me. But for R, he was terribly paranoid at first as he had zero experience carrying babies of that age, or any age for that matter. Slowly but surely, he stepped up, he started to volunteer to carry the baby, burp him or rock him to sleep. In the days when the routine was feed, burp, change, sleep, rinse, lather and repeat, R started to participate more actively and slowly made up his own ways as he went along.

I remember very distinctly this incident that happened when Pickles was about a couple of months old. A close friend was having a birthday that day and R and I decided to go and have lunch with friends. We thought it would be a good change for the both of us. So, we left Pickles with my mum and set off for a couple of hours.

My friend's daughter Xena is our darling. We've all been friends a long time and Xena is comfortable around us. During our lunch that day, Xena kept hopping from lap to lap, taking the time to talk  to each one of us. It was during this that she parked herself on R's lap. We continued to eat and at one point, we looked at R and burst into laughter. When he looked at us questioningly, one of us then told him, "R, Xena's a big girl now and doesn't really need to be burped."It was then that R realised he had been unconsciously patting Xena's back like he was burping her. After days and nights of doing just that, it had come to him naturally.

It was then that I started to notice this partner of mine in a different light. He has since then transformed into a Dad, and a great one at that! It just makes my heart melt to see him and Pickles bonding together. Maybe it is my hormones, maybe that is how nature meant it to be but it makes me more fond of him than I ever was.